The Mishaps of Michelle - 12/11

Sorry it's been a while since I've been able to post. Things have been crazy busy around here. I've had a few small funny incidents that I thought I'd share...

EADS -
Just a little background before I start this story - EADS is the celebration before the Ramadan and unlike the US where holidays are pretty well set in stone, in Afghanistan the government decides what day is a holiday. We knew EADS was coming up but we thought it was on Monday and we planned to shoot off illum mortars for the locals (our version of fireworks). So Sunday night I'm laying in my bed watching a movie and I hear gun shots. We hear them occasionally but never really pay attention. So I go back to watching my movie and I hear lots of gun shots and a few loud booms. Still not sure what's going on...I knock on my neighbors door and ask him. Well he tells me to stand fast and goes running for the company headquarters. Now I really don't know what to do because no one's said we were getting attacked (we usually have a notification system and we run to our posts). So unsure of what to do I decide to get out of my PJ's and get dressed. I peak my head out the door and see people running around so I decide maybe I should but my night vision on my kevlar. Still have not received word so I'm unsure if I should put on my gear or not. I hear someone yell "Screw this I"m going to go and get my gear" so I decide to put my on. Gun shots are still going off so here I come, running out of my room - in full gear ready to go and guard my post against the enemy. I come busting out of my door into the courtyard and everyone is standing around, smoking cigaretts, and looking at me like I'm retarded. It appears that EADS got moved a day earlier...go figure. So now I can't live it down that I came running out of my room, in full gear, gun ready, and there was NOTHING!

CDS Water Drop -
Due to our remote location we get all of our water from a water drop. Basically a plane comes and drops water, usually 40 pallets. Because I'm the flight OPS person, I have to talk to the planes and let them know that the LZ is clear for them to drop. So it was 4:00 Am and we are assembling the vehicles to go out to the LZ. I got tasked out to drive the 5 ton (very very large truck - 3 X the size of a HMMWV). I'm the only one who knows how to drive it so I climb on in. Well it just happens to be snowing (our first snow) and the turret doesn't have a hatch so the snow is coming directly into the vehicle and I'm getting snowed and rained on at the same time. It's also pitch black out and the blackout lights (Army lights that allow you to see but not be seen by the enemy) are not working so I have no lights. To make matters worse I don't have windshield wipers either. So we roll out of the base camp with me not being able to see a darn thing and we are driving through the desert (no roads in Afghanistan). The 5 Ton is not handling so well in the wet sand and it keeps sliding around. Well some jackass in front of me decides to take the worst possible route and goes over a mound of sand. The 5 ton doesn't make it and I get stuck at the top of the mound. I can't go forward or back and I am basically just digging myself in. They have to send a vehicle back to tow me out. They pulled me forward a few feet and took off. So I go to start moving and once again I'm stuck. The tow vehicle and to turn around and come all the way back to get me unstuck. I'm freaking by this point because I have to have the LZ set up and ready to go by 6:45 for the water drop and it's 6:30 and we aren't even close. So they get my vehicle unstuck and I decide that I can't slow down and must drive like a bat out of hell to ensure that I don't get stuck again. I have this beast of a machine completely floored and I am flying past my convoy and they are looking at me like I'm a mad woman. Well the lead vehicle didn't know where it was going and got lost so it had to turn the convoy around. I try to turn the vehicle at a high speed to prevent it from getting stuck and I just about made my turn and SHIT - I'm stuck again! This time they couldn't get it out and had to call back to base to have a recovery vehicle come and tow it out. I didn't make it to the LZ until 7:20. THANKFULLY the plane was late itself so crisis averted.

Hope you all are doing well - I'll try to update this more regularly.